The Zealot

With a name like Nutsy Fagan, one can immediately and correctly assume I'm catholic, or I was raised catholic anyway.  So was my husband.  We are now, what we like to call, Christian.  But we had two children and thus the dilemma arose:  Do we stick to our guns and go our own course?  Or, do we baptize, educate in Faith Formation and go through the sacraments of the catholic church to please both of our parents and then go our own way (sadly, but probably, after they die)???  We totally caved and chose the easy way out.

So, now we get to the Zealot.  She's my daughters' religious education teacher.  When I mentioned her name in the Faith Formation office of our church, they smirked and said, "OOooooh.  Mrs. Zealot.   Yes.   Well.......(trying not to laugh).....she's quite enthusiastic, huh?"  

Mrs. Z teaches out of her house.  My daughter had her last year and being a newbie at this, I kind of wrote her weirdness off.  First, she likes to kiss me hello.  At every drop off AND pick up.  Jesus loves me, this I know, but your kiss don't tell me so....it's just WEIRD.  She calls everyone "sweetheart".  She has two cocker spaniels that NEVER STOP BARKING.....  I'm not sure she's taught my daughter anything related to being a catholic.  But they do talk about God and eat lots of candy right before dinner.  Daughter always comes out all hopped up and smiling when I pick her up.  When I ask about class she says, "Oh I don't know but we had cupcakes!"  Great.  Super. 

The real zinger came last April when the class was supposed to meet for the last time (hurray).  That afternoon, after Mrs. Zealot kisses hello and near squeezes me to death (please stop touching me), she says, "I know faith formation is supposed to end today, but I'm going to extend it for 6 more weeks!!"  I can't imagine what kind of face I made, but Mrs. Z immediately frowns and says, "Sweetheart!  You don't look happy!"...Why in the HELL would I be????  You think I want to come here for another friggin' 6 weeks???  OMG.  Enough is enough.  I tell some vacant lie and leave with my heart in my tummy.

So now the new year has begun.  Son now goes to religious ed too, but his class is in the church.  There are two teachers and he came home with more knowledge than daughter learned in a year.  Guess what Mrs. Z?  I stopped in the Faith Formation office today.  Daughter is now going to the church on same night as sons.....m'kay sweetheart?  God bless you!!!