All about the candy.

Son:  Mom? 

Me:  Yes?

Son:  Halloween is ALL about the candy! (He says with mouth overflowing Snickers).

Yes, it is, isn't it?  The hardest time of the year for me!!!  Halloween and then before you know it.....THE FEAST that is Thanksgiving.  You barely have time to burp and fart and Christmas is here!  January comes and sorrow sets in.

Well, I'm fighting it tooth and nail this year.  Ain't gonna happen.  Nuff said on that for now.  Don't want to get too far in over my head...

Funfetti cupcakes are in the oven.  Mini white chocolate ghost lollipops are in the fridge.  I'll frost the cupcakes and stick the little ghosts in tomorrow morning.  I've got the juice boxes.  I've done all my chores and I'm still just a train wreck about my mom.

I just got the call and her surgery is over.  She is alive.  She didn't bleed out.  But suckayness of all suckayness, the surgeon couldn't perform the procedure laperoscopically.  That SUCKS.  The recovery is going to kick the shit out of her.  Like that hasn't been done already...  My poor mother has been poked, cut, sliced, diced and stitched back up six ways to Sunday.  She's the most amazing woman.  No pity, please.  Let's get on with it.  No point in crying.  Unbelievable.  I don't see a problem with a good cry now and then.  Maybe that's my problem.  My mom just marches forward like a house on fire.  Anyway, poor little thing is going to have a tough time this time.  It's better than the alternative.  I just can't believe the year we're having.  How much can one little body take?  I know death is around the corner.  I'm not an idiot.  But I also know what death feels like.  I thought I would come unglued when my Dad died.  This will be worse.  For even though my Dad was a big, soft, fun teddy bear, my mother is...well...my mother.  And even though I'm 46 years old, I will be an orphan and feel an orphan.  I don't want that to come ever.  I know it will, I just don't want it to.  It's just too painful.

So tomorrow is another day.  Not just any day, but Halloween.  The funnest holiday.  The day my mom will wake up and she gets another chance.  I hope she's not going to suffer too much through this recovery.  We'll see what tomorrow brings and I'll try and take her approach.  March on.  You don't have a choice but to make the best of everything.  She's really all about the candy, isn't she?